Right Before I Fall Asleep

I think about

The colours of the sky when the sun set today. 

Did I lock the door before I came to bed?

The pink wildflower I saw by the side of the road. 

Films. Art. Blood. Storms. 

Bees. And how the one time I got stung is still fresh in my memory. 

Quantum physics. How there might be universes colliding in the space between our lips when you lean in for a kiss. 

The way my skin feels too tight on my bones sometimes. 

The star I gaze at from my balcony every clear night. 

The way your eyes turn honey gold in the sunshine. 

Your hands and how they feel on my skin.

All of you. 

You...

You...

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

October

October used to be my favourite month of the year. All I’m saying is, love can change so many things. The first time I exchanged words and thoughts with G was at the peak of my hometown’s rains in July. The air becomes damp and heavy around this time of the year; the imminence of me leaving home for the first time only seemed to add to it. I told him my favourite film was Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. He watched it and sent me paragraphs that seemed to put into words exactly why I loved the film. Unprecedented familiarity— almost as if we shared a mind. I found myself breathing the damp air much easier than I had in the previous years. All I’m saying is, love can change so many things. The first time I met G was in September, my birth month. He found me looking lost in the corridor of some academic block and introduced himself again, as if we had not already spent countless nights staying up to text each other about inconsequential things. Oh well, we started spending countles
Read more

You're Always Leaving

In every memory, you’re always leaving. White t-shirt, messy hair, at the threshold of my door, holding it open to say a goodbye. I never ask you to stay. You always leave behind some trinket in my life that you can come back for. In this memory, it is your copy of The Picture Of Dorian Gray . Some other day, I had asked you to read this book. I take my blunt drawing pencil and scribble in soft letters a note— ‘I will always be fond of you. You represent all the sins I had the courage to commit.’ In another memory, I watch you dance with some stranger at a party while someone else runs their hands over me. We came to this party together but I watch your eyes pierce into me from over her shoulder and I know you will leave alone. You leave behind some shattered pieces of a heart, you leave in the middle of her dance. In another memory, you leave the pen your brother gave you between the pages of my notebook. I watch you walk out of the classroom in the middle of the lecture. You ne
Read more

And That’s Life

“There’s always tomorrow.” You smile at him as he says that but your mind echoes back, is there? You unlock his door and step out, but not before checking once to make sure the hallway is empty. You take the stairs so that you can leave the spot of the crime as fast as you possibly can. Maybe if you get out of his RH quicker, it won't feel like you are leaving a piece of yourself in his room every time you leave. You reach your room and let out a breath that you did not even realise you were holding. Your roommate asks you if you are okay and you just nod because you are so sure that if you try to speak, you will end up crying on your bed for hours. And then you decide to take a shower even though it is past midnight and the water is ice cold. You still need it. Maybe if you cry in the shower, it won't count because you will not see your tears. You let the water hit your skin for as long as you can bear it and then some. You come back to your room and your roommate is still a
Read more